I live in a subdivision with more than 550 homes. It is its own little "city". As much as I get out to meet the neighbors, I can honestly say I do not know everyone that lives here. That probably doesn't come as a surprise to you, as most people nowadays tend to keep to themselves and actually getting out to meet your neighbors doesn't appear to be a common practice anymore.
Today, as I was driving through the neighborhood, there were two older gentlemen out for a morning walk. I would estimate their ages to be somewhere in their mid-sixties. I haven't seen them out before and certainly never met them, but the oddest thing happened as I passed them. One of them threw up his hand and waved to me and the other tipped his hat. Of course, I couldn't help but wave back at them. Their simple act of kindness has kept a smile on my face all day. It has stayed with me. It had a tremendous impact on me. I have shared this moment with many that I have spoken with today. More than anything, it has made me wonder, consider, and question; why isn't this common practice anymore? Why do we live in a tunnel, not recognizing or validating those we come in contact with?
I've mentioned before that I am part of an amazing discussion on LinkedIn and this simple act today, by these two gentlemen who may or may not ever see me again, brought so much of what has been said on the thread into amazing clarity for me. Most of the comments on the thread have to do with communication, or the lack thereof. Those are the words that are written on the thread. But after my experience today, I don't think that people are really complaining about communication. It is my opinion that they are complaining about the lack of validation. Or the lack of recognition. Each and every one of us wants someone to tell us that we mean something to someone. We all want to know that we have a purpose. So where has the respect for each other gone?
With the economy taking the horrible direction it has for the last two years, and all the fallout because of it, shouldn't we be reaching out to each other versus shutting ourselves off from our neighbors? People have lost their jobs. We see the numbers all over the news. People have lost their homes. Both continue on an hourly basis. In the process of this, they are losing their identity and confidence, as well as their dignity. They are losing their self-respect and their self-value. They are just losing themselves. A simple act of kindness, like throwing your hand in the air or tipping your hat(or responding to an email or phone message), acknowledges your presence. It validates your existence.
I try to go through every day acknowledging and validating the job seekers I speak with, but after this revelation today, I am going to be even more conscientious of what I'm doing. It is my hope that recruiters, HR, and job seekers as well as the rest of the world, can stop and wave, or tip their hat, (or respond to an email or phone message) to someone new today. It will cost you nothing, but validation is priceless.
Kim Cyr can be reached at kcyr@cspgroups.com, http://www.cspgroups.com/ or 888-831-9495
I couldn't agree with you more. Today, people are so wrapped up in their own little bubbles and they forget the simple acts of kindness. I have taught my children that those simple acts make all the difference in the world. Wave to the quiet kid in the hall, smile at the homeless man and look him in the eye, share a kind word with someone who looks like they need a friend. If everyone would do this, troubles may seem less burdensome and you will make someone's day.
ReplyDeleteFrom LinkedIn
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing such an honest article. I am searching for a job right now and it can be very difficult applying for jobs and getting no response. I truely appreciate those who DO respond - either positively or negatively - because it allows me to focus my efforts or move on. LinkedIn has been a wonderful help for me to network and reach real people.
Posted by Jamie Lynn Mayer
From LinkedIn
ReplyDeleteGreat article! Right on point! Especially these words...."or responding to an email or phone message". So many of my messages go into a black hole, and it is demoralizing and insulting!
If everybody would take heed the world would be a better place!
Posted by Joe Taormina
From LinkedIn
ReplyDeleteI agree with acknowledging and validating the job seekers, with all the turmoil in the economy and their household being effected; an act of kindness goes a long way.
I know this economy has made me more humble to my fellow man and hopefully it might rub off on them and pass it along to someone else.
Posted by Jesse J.A. Rodriguez
From LinkedIn
ReplyDeleteWell put Kim, I can identify with your article and I also believe that it is important to show acts of random kindness to others each and every day. With so many qualified folks currently out of work, we can always use a little boost that keeps us motivated to our fulltime job of finding a job and it goes both ways too.
Posted by Christopher DuBach
From LinkedIn
ReplyDeleteMakes me want to buy a hat - just so I can tip it to someone! Great thoughts & advice!
Posted by Joseph Wilger
Thank you for writing a much needed topic.
ReplyDeleteAn act of kindness and a smile goes a long way.
Thank you for this article - I became a recruiter because I believe that a job is the second most important thing in a persons life after their family and what goes around comes around. I do my best to acknowledge every single direct applicant to my email that I can. And if I'm in our database and see a candidate who would be a great fit but is not going to be called for one reason or another, I pop them a quick email to let them know someone actually looked at their resume. And that it didn't just go into a black hole. Let's spread some encouragement folks - give a touch of advice on a resume or job hunt, if you're able to.
ReplyDeleteFrom LinkedIn
ReplyDeleteI've been sending out monthly "touching base" emails to people that I worked with in the past to let them know how my search is progressing. It's been interesting that so many of them don't have the time to respond to my email. I'm sure when they find themselves in a similar position they will realize how much a simple word of encouragement would have meant.
Posted by Roy Shimizu
Kim,
ReplyDeleteLove this post. I'm delighted that you've taken the time to underscore the importance of validation.
As neighbors, colleagues, leaders, spouses and parents we forget how much power we possess through such simple acts.
Thanks for sharing, reminding, and encouraging us!
Kim,
ReplyDeleteYou are a light in a world that at times feels mighty dark. We are both in the employment industry and there are seasons when you feel does it really matter.
Well of course it matters.
I am their age, don't own a hat but will make a point to smile and wave.
Rick Farquar
From LinkedIn
ReplyDeleteThose of us who grew up in the 60s seem to have forgotten the purpose behind what it was all about and become part of the every person for themselves crowd. What happen to that culture of helping each other out? That culture of kindness? Did we finally cave in to the establishment?
That really doesn't matter because it is more about our morals and ethics. Have we become so shallow that we cannot be kind to our fellow man? Does it take that much out of our lives to slow down and share a kind word with someone? Have we become that self centered?
I for one will wave at all my neighbors even though I do not know them. If a child says hi to me I will say hi back and ask how they are today. I will also ask the parent how they are today. It is not a crime to be civil to each other rather it is rewarding. It makes us feel better it gives us purpose it validates our existence.
Posted by Joseph Mullin, MBA Principal
From LinkedIn
ReplyDeleteIt take each and every one of us to continue to spread kindness. I believe it is contagious. So continue to be kind regardless of all of the disappointments around you.
Give yourself a good feeling by being kind to others. But most of all be kind to yourself .
Posted by Donna Bellafiore