Where Has Kindness and Respect Gone? (Part 2)

The last few weeks have been very busy with many enlightening moments. I'm going to start with the most recent and work my way backwards.

Today, I loaded up the family to pick my husband up from work and have lunch with him. It was a beautiful day, so we decided to eat outside. While we were sitting around the table, a car pulled up and a young man got out and let out a scream. Of course, we turned to see what was going on. Once we looked at him, who was quickly joined by his mother, it was evident this man had some type of disability. My daughter asked me why he yelled like he did. This opened up a wonderful conversation.

My husband and I explained to her that while we are all God's children, that doesn't mean that we all develop the same way. Each and every one of us are different. Some differences are visible while others aren't. We explained to her that sometimes someone's brain doesn't grow the same way as hers has. This young man and his mother went into the restaurant for their lunch. After we talked about him outside for a bit, my daughter asked to go inside. I took the drink cups inside for refills, and wouldn't you know, he was sitting by the drink machine. While I was filling the cups, my daughter ran to the "little girl's room", and I stood and watched as people entered the restaurant. Every time he saw someone new, he let out the same scream he did when he got out of the car. There were no less than three other groups that entered, and every one of them gave him and his mother a disgusted look.

My heart broke for her and for him. I have a friend who has a daughter that fell into the family pool and suffered a "near drowning". Her daughter has severe brain damage and the lives of the family are forever changed. When I saw the reaction from people walking into the restaurant, I thought of Gina and how she must deal with the same thing every day. The young man saw me at the soda fountain and started talking to me. I walked over to the table and began talking to him. His mother had to translate a lot of what he said, but oh, how he wanted to talk. His name is Pat and he is 24 years old. His birthday is October 9th. He wanted to know what I was drinking. He asked me if I listened to John Boy and Billy, because he has been a regular guest on their show for the last 10 years. Unfortunately, I don't listen and haven't heard him, but I am proud to say that I met a celebrity today! He asked what we were doing after we left the restaurant. He wanted to know what we had for dinner last night. Then my daughter joined me. He told her she had beautiful blue eyes. He asked her when her birthday was. The questions continued for about 20 minutes or so. His mother asked me if I knew many people like Pat. I told her no, but then I told her about Gina. She said she thought that I was so kind and good with her son that I must have been around a lot of people like him.

We spoke about how people reacted to her son and she said that it was amazing to her how rude and unkind people were to her and Pat. But she followed that up by saying how much they were missing out on because Pat was her heartbeat. I couldn't agree with her more; people are missing out. My daughter enjoyed speaking with Pat and she learned so much from that 30 minute interaction. Pat has forever touched all of our lives, and I am sure there are many more in the past and in the future that will say the same. He is a kind, sweet, soul with much love pouring out of him for anyone willing to share a smile with him.

Earlier this month, I stopped and spoke to one of the gentlemen I wrote about who strolls through our neighborhood. I was taking our Vietnamese exchange student to the store and saw him walking by himself. Of course, he threw his hand in the air as we passed. This time, I stopped and spoke with him. I told him how his simple act of kindness inspired me to write a blog about him and his friend. We shook hands and he told me he was a retired Colonel. He asked me who the young man was sitting next to me. I told him his name was Tuan and he was here from Vietnam. He shook hands with Tuan and told him he spent a year in his country. He told him how beautiful he thought it was. Then he proceeded to ask him some questions about where he was from and how he liked his time here so far. He wished him well, told me where he lived and asked me to write the blog address down and drop it as his house. He was so incredibly gracious and more kind than I thought he would be.

When we drove away, I asked Tuan if he realized that the year he spent in Vietnam was during the Vietnam War. He said yes, but "I am confused". I asked him why he was confused and he said, "Why was he so kind to me"? He thought that anyone that was part of the war hated the Vietnamese people, but this man was so kind to him. Again, another opportunity for a meaningful conversation. I explained to him that our military doesn't engage in combat because they hate. It is their job to follow orders and they followed the orders of our government. As a society, we should always support our militar because they are only following orders. We spoke about what life was like for his grandparents and his parents when they were younger. We spoke about how our military was treated when they returned from this unpopular war. In the end, we talked about how we are all the same and that hatred is a choice. I am proud to be a part of a community that is proving just that to him.

On to the last notable situation. I haven't spoken of this to many people, but now feel that I can broadcast it. My husband has recently had a medical "scare". He has a lump that his doctor decided to biopsy. Given the cancer history in his family, the decision to biopsy had me extremely shaken. My husband said that he wasn't going to worry about it until the results came in because there wasn't anything either one of us could do to change it. Once the results were in, we would know what we were dealing with. Men! The fixers. Women! The emotional basket-cases. Thank God the biopsy came back negative. They aren't sure what is wrong, and we are going for more tests, but the news that it wasn't cancer was a huge weight off both of our shoulders.

Through all of these events, I have realized how much we all really do need each other. Whether it is through medical scares, social uncertainties, or job search anxiety, we all need someone to lean on. We need someone to kick our butts and tell us how it really is. (can't change the medical results, so go make dinner!) We need someone to cry with and someone to celebrate with. I am so incredibly grateful to be that shoulder, or to be that butt kicker, or to raise the celebratory glass.

Kim Cyr, Director of CSP Groups, can be reached at kcyr@cspgroups.com, 888-831-9495 or www.cspgroups.com